I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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