....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I think your dad took our porno
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
