He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
