His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
