I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I booty called her while she was in labor.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
