Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
FUCK WHALES
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
