I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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