Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
