You smell like stripper and shame
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
