You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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