I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
