piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize