actually, I'm a sock model
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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