Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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