$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
