I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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