I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
