sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
