I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I need to calm my uterus...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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