I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
She needs sedatives and a leash
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
