you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
