never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
