I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize