he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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