No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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