the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
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