sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
