I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize