So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
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