Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Randomize
