Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
