Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
God, you're like boner-b-gone
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
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