oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
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