Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize