Can Purell be used as lube?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
