Rock
Scissors
Fuck
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
