youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
