Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize