Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
