I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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