this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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