I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
