Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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