We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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