I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
