three words: i give head
three words: not that well
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize