We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
