Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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