Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
