therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
