At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
