in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
