he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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