There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
