The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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