Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
