He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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