So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
