He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
