No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
