yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
false alarm. still invincible.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize