He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
