This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize