I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You were trust falling into bushes
I need water and some morals
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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